Holidays Without A Loved One

 

The holidays are certainly a special time. For most, they commemorate annual traditions and family togetherness. But if this happens to be the first year without a loved one due to an untimely passing, then the tone can easily shift towards pain or grief. This is actually a very common occurrence during December and one that begs further conversations.

 

The website Health.com recently touched upon the topic of grief during the holidays, offering solutions and coping mechanisms for people dealing with a difficult month. Truth be told, it doesn’t matter if your loved one passed early in the year or a few weeks back; a Christmas, Hanukkah or New Year’s celebration without them can be just as painful.

 

One thing that Health emphasized was not trying to shut out those memories. Instead, writer Rebeca Soffer mentioned carrying on at least one ongoing tradition that had been handled by the deceased loved one. Whether it’s a “famous recipe,” an after dinner routine or a decoration that symbolizes them. As Soffer put it; this ritual can be very minor, but can serves to overcome a state of grief.

 

“Consider choosing one treasured ritual, like opening gifts in your sister’s preferred order or watching your husband’s favorite holiday film, and give yourself permission for flexibility on the next holiday if your grief is in a different place then,” she wrote. “This kind of selectivity allows you to foster a sense of connection without exhausting yourself physically and mentally, or turning the month into an emotional minefield.”

 

Another way of coping recommended by the site, was finding a charitable outlet to donate time towards. The holidays are, after all, about giving back, so doing good deeds during this season can feel especially poignant. If possible, try volunteering for a cause that was close to your lost loved one. It can actually be very therapeutic to spend time doing something that you know they felt passionate about.

 

One final piece of advice (which we also agree with) is to seek out help when it’s needed. Many people do tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves during the holidays, whether it’s shopping, hosting or what have you. Don’t let added grief push you to a breaking point. Talking to a professional is always a recommended plan of action after someone close passes and our team is just a phone call away.

 

Exposing The Truth About Social Anxiety

This week, we’re tipping our hat to The Huffington Post. The famed news site, which is read by millions, put a very important story on its homepage. And sadly, this is a story that is all too often missed by the mainstream media. We are talking about Social Anxiety and the very real phobias that impact a large percentage of people in this country.

The HuffPo headline reads: Social Anxiety Doesn’t Get The Attention It Deserves. And that couldn’t ring more true. First we get the surprising stat. Did you know that over 15 million Americans suffer from this issue? And, for the most part, they suffer in silence.

Several case studies were used throughout the article, highlighting everyday people who find “simple tasks” excruciating. Sophie Trapani, for example, would convulse and literally shut down whenever she would have to speak in front of people. This led to her losing work, shying away from friends and even distancing herself from her family. In truth, it all becomes a vicious cycle where people get stuck in isolation.

Common fears include being judged, being rejected by peers or being confronted by dangerous people. These may not all be “rational” to the everyday person, but they are daily reality for those suffering from fear. Social anxiety can also overlap with other issues, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression or panic attacks. Worse yet, people afflicted by this are often labeled as “shy” and not taken seriously.

The article goes on to highlight the enablers of the modern world and how, in today’s day and age, it is much easier to retreat and not face your problems. Social media and the web, for example, can allow people to hide even more and go undiagnosed.

We understand that this is a very serious issue and actually have treatment options for people suffering from this affliction. The most important thing a person can do, is recognize the symptoms of social anxiety. And it is just as important for a person’s network of family and friends to acknowledge it too and, perhaps, step in if help is needed.

“It is rather easy for those who do not understand or experience the condition to ignore or marginalize the disorder,” clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly told HuffPo. “As a result, those who suffer from social anxiety often feel as if they are outcasts ― as if they do not measure up. A therapist or psychiatrist can help you work through the worst of it.”

We couldn’t agree more and are happy to help anyone suffering from this take the first step to wellness.