The 10 Signs Of Codependence

What defines a “healthy relationship” and how are we supposed to know whether our partner is creating dysfunctional environment? Obviously, the answer to that question is not easy to define. But according to a helpful new piece from Psychology Today, there are signs to look out for; particularly when it comes to codependence.

The term “codependence” is something we come across often at inneractions (in fact, we offer group sessions on this very topic). And we always feel that it’s important to spell out what it means when it comes to relationships. In the broadest sense, this behavior leads to one-sided romances. This is where one partner continuously gives up their own wants and needs to please the other. Basically, it’s all give and no take. And for the record, it is very unhealthy.

What Psychology Today writer Shawn M. Burn Ph.D. did in her article was break apart the warning signs into 10 identifiable traits. To help identify whether a codependent relationship pertains to you or someone you care about, we recommended checking off a list from what you read below…

1) Are you quick to say “yes” to your partner without acknowledging your own feelings?

2) Do you often make excuses for your partner’s bad behavior?

3) Are you constantly working to please your partner and make them happy?

4) Are you bailing your partner out when they get into trouble?

5) Do you feel like you lose your sense of identity in your relationship?

6) Do you often feel manipulated by your partner?

7) Do you feel like you don’t get much in return in your relationship?

8) Does it feel like your partner is constantly taking advantage of you?

9) Does the pain your partner feels get put on your shoulders?

10) Is your relationship predicated on conditional and controlling behaviors?

 

Truth be told, these are not easy questions to face when it comes to your relationship. But they are certainly important, especially when it pertains to a person’s happiness and well-being. Dr. Burn summarized codependence quite well in the tail end of her blog, emphasizing that we all have worth do not deserve to be in one-sided romances.

“Your relationship should not be with someone who takes advantage of your love so they can avoid taking responsibility for their own life,” she explained. “[This ultimately]  supports the other’s underachievement, irresponsibility, immaturity or poor mental or physical health.”

So truth be told, codependence not only hurts you, it hurts the one you’re with. To learn more about ways to overcome these types of relationships, please reach out.

Can Heavy Stress Hurt Your Immune System?

If you haven’t had the chance to follow the blogs of WebMD, we highly recommend doing so. The famed medical site has a ton of helpful information related to health and wellness. One recent topic that they covered seemed extra poignant to us, primarily because it is something that we have seen firsthand.  According to their scientific data, intense stress can increase a person’s odds of developing an autoimmune disease.

Using research that included over 100,000 case studies, doctors from the site determined that people who face stress on a daily basis have a 35 percent greater risk of contracting issues like rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, Crohn’s disease and celiac disease than those who do not. Even more interesting, was the fact that the likelihood increases among women, particularly those who are African-American, Hispanic or Native-American.

“Patients suffering from severe life stressors should seek medical treatment due to the risk of chronicity of these symptoms and thereby further health decline, such as the increased risk of autoimmune disease,” lead researcher Dr. Huan Song wrote on the site. “This study adds to the evidence of the link between stress conditions and physical well-being, warranting further attention to the reduction of trauma and other causes of stress conditions, as well as improving treatment of these conditions.”

Indeed, trauma was brought up as a major trigger point as well. The research concluded that there was still no definitive reason as to why they increase the immune system risks, but there are several theories. One has to do with the fact that people dealing with these conditions tend to sleep less, which can have physical repercussions on the body. There are also strong associations between stress and substance abuse, which has been proven to do damage to people’s nervous systems.

The good news is, Dr. Song and others believe that these traits can be reversible. The key factor, though, is treatment. Examples used were support groups, certain anti-depressants (particularly for people dealing with PTSD) and ongoing therapy to cope with life’s stressors.

“There are now several treatments, both medications and cognitive behavioral approaches, with documented effectiveness,” she concluded. “It is notable that when people received effective treatment, their risk for autoimmune disorders was lessened.”

At inneractions, we too believe that treatment is essential to reduce theses risks. We offer Stress Management sessions at our facility and welcome anyone impacted by trauma or severe life challenges to reach out and get the help they deserve.

Exposing The Truth About Social Anxiety

This week, we’re tipping our hat to The Huffington Post. The famed news site, which is read by millions, put a very important story on its homepage. And sadly, this is a story that is all too often missed by the mainstream media. We are talking about Social Anxiety and the very real phobias that impact a large percentage of people in this country.

The HuffPo headline reads: Social Anxiety Doesn’t Get The Attention It Deserves. And that couldn’t ring more true. First we get the surprising stat. Did you know that over 15 million Americans suffer from this issue? And, for the most part, they suffer in silence.

Several case studies were used throughout the article, highlighting everyday people who find “simple tasks” excruciating. Sophie Trapani, for example, would convulse and literally shut down whenever she would have to speak in front of people. This led to her losing work, shying away from friends and even distancing herself from her family. In truth, it all becomes a vicious cycle where people get stuck in isolation.

Common fears include being judged, being rejected by peers or being confronted by dangerous people. These may not all be “rational” to the everyday person, but they are daily reality for those suffering from fear. Social anxiety can also overlap with other issues, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression or panic attacks. Worse yet, people afflicted by this are often labeled as “shy” and not taken seriously.

The article goes on to highlight the enablers of the modern world and how, in today’s day and age, it is much easier to retreat and not face your problems. Social media and the web, for example, can allow people to hide even more and go undiagnosed.

We understand that this is a very serious issue and actually have treatment options for people suffering from this affliction. The most important thing a person can do, is recognize the symptoms of social anxiety. And it is just as important for a person’s network of family and friends to acknowledge it too and, perhaps, step in if help is needed.

“It is rather easy for those who do not understand or experience the condition to ignore or marginalize the disorder,” clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly told HuffPo. “As a result, those who suffer from social anxiety often feel as if they are outcasts ― as if they do not measure up. A therapist or psychiatrist can help you work through the worst of it.”

We couldn’t agree more and are happy to help anyone suffering from this take the first step to wellness.

When is the 12 Step Approach to Recovery Not Enough?

When is 12 Steps Note Enough? Comparing TSF with Therapy-Based Addiction Recovery

Conquering an addiction can be a lifelong process. Recovery and treatment are the beginning of the journey but maintaining a clean lifestyle requires effort and the right set of tools. The ability to manage emotional and psychological wellbeing is for many the key to sustained recovery.

For this article, we’ll take a close look at both the 12 Step Facilitation (TSF) approach and a therapy-based approach to recovery in order to better understand the mechanisms for success for each. The goal of this article will be to shine some light on a new approach to treating addiction while paying our respects to the longstanding 80-year-old tradition of 12 Steps.

Several generations have turned to 12 Steps as the framework for sustained sobriety. The process involves surrendering to a higher power and leaning on a network of like-minded individuals through group meetings. One Harvard Medical School professor, Dr. Lance Dodes, estimates show that roughly than 5 million Americans attend an AA meeting at least once per year.

Over the past 25 years, new evidence-based theories have paved the way for a therapy-based approach to addiction treatment. The research has shown that this scientific approach is magnitudes more effective when one or more co-occurring disorders like depression, grief, shame, guilt, anger or fear is the root cause of the addiction. In particular, the use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (also known as CBT) can be life-changing.

What Is CBT?

Let’s start off with a breakdown of CBT and its core principles. Initially developed to treat depression; CBT is a research-based treatment modality which focuses on changing negative thought patterns through individual and group therapies. CBT involves a strict curriculum designed to address the root of a person’s addiction and to treat any co-occurring disorders they may be suffering from (such as trauma or mental health issues).

Through CBT, therapists are able to alter the pattern of thinking that drives a person’s addictive behaviors, ultimately changing the way they feel. CBT focuses on solutions, encouraging the patient to challenge distorted cognitions and let go of destructive habits.

cbt cognitive behavioral therapy addiction recovery

A 2010 study showed that “Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for substance use disorders has demonstrated efficacy as both a monotherapy and as part of combination treatment strategies. An earlier study in 2004 focused on young addicts and found that CBT yielded “significant and clinically meaningful reductions in adolescent substance use.” Another study in 2013 found that women with comorbid psychiatric and substance abuse problems experienced improvement after partaking in a combined CBT and pharmacotherapy program.

How Does CBT Compare To The Traditional 12 Steps?

There is no denying that, since their introduction back in 1939, 12-step programs have helped many people cope with addiction. However, while the core structure and philosophies of 12-step programs have remained largely unchanged, the fields of psychology and neuroscience have developed dramatically over the past decades. As a result, a growing number of professionals within the recovery community have begun to acknowledge and embrace a therapy-based approach.

The Atlantic recently published a well-researched article that asks some pretty tough questions of the 12 Step Approach, offering some pause for thought for anyone considering their treatment options.

In the article, Atlantic staffer Jake Flanagin struggles with how exactly 12 Steps became so widely accepted and whether or not a program that has remained essentially unchanged for 80 years is still relevant today. Flanagin dissects AA in particular, looking at success rates, religious affiliation, and how it has been insinuated into our legal system.

Peer-reviewed studies have pegged the success rate of AA between 5 and 10%. Contrast this with AA’s own internal survey which reports that 33% of its members had stayed sober for more than a decade. The problem is that AA’s numbers don’t take into account the large numbers of people who don’t complete the first year, or completing the 12 steps (the definition of success by their standards).

TSF 12 Steps of AA

One 2008 study highlighted the difficulty in assessing the success rate for TSF and other support groups because of the “high attrition which critically affects the potential effectiveness of 12-step as a recovery resource”. In 2006 the New York Times published an article on TSF that found “no proof that they are superior to any other intervention in reducing alcohol dependence”. In that article, Dr. Edward V. Nunes, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia, acknowledges that “A.A. has helped a lot of people”.

AA is a self-identified Christian organization. While references to God in the TSF are somewhat open to interpretation, the founding literature is clear: “Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God”. For nontheists “asking God to remove defects of character” for example (step #6) can be problematic.

Flanagin takes issue with the fact that AA very strategically gained legitimacy by publishing favorable news articles and establishing foundations like The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (est. 1944) in order to “dictate the conversation”. By 1989, the first drug courts were sentencing offenders to 12-step programs, even though no science existed to back the efficacy of the approach.

Finally, Flanagin asks pointedly why addicts shouldn’t be given more powerful tools than blind faith. He also acknowledges that pills and therapy and data aren’t necessarily enough to treat a condition so closely tied to emotional well-being and self-worth, pointing out that humans crave community.

How Can We Bring The Best Of Both Worlds Together?

As is mentioned above, the goal of this article isn’t to bash the 12 Steps, for this method has certainly helped many people struggling with drug and alcohol addiction over the past 79 years. Clearly, there are components of the 12-step approach that provide an obvious benefit to addicts.

Both the camaraderie and group support offered by 12-step programs have proven to be invaluable to many recovering addicts. It stands to reason that for addicts, who often suffer in isolation, participating in a supportive and nurturing group of others who share similar challenges can provide huge benefits. Therefore it should come as little surprise that similar groups also play a central role in therapy-based treatment programs that utilize CBT techniques.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is typically practiced during both individual and group sessions. But instead of the structure of a typical AA meeting, therapy-based group sessions are led by trained professional therapists who facilitate conversations and guide group members with fundamental CBT techniques. In addition, there are times when family members and friends are brought in to contribute to the process.

CBT sessions include specific exercises designed to increase awareness and develop Mindfulness (such as breathing and tonal explorations). Another technique that is unique to CBT and which has shown great success is the Reframing Exercise. These exercises push people to challenge unhealthy beliefs about themselves or others. Yet another component of CBT, known as Somatic Experiencing, is a therapy designed to build awareness of buried traumas.

The Inneractions Experience

The outpatient program at our inneractions facility focuses on an evidence-based therapeutic approach that works to blend science, research, and emotions into the recovery process. What we ultimately believe is that an active change in beliefs and behaviors is what’s needed to acquire and sustain sobriety.

At inneractions, we help individuals establish healthy long-lasting lifestyles free from the destruction of addictive behavior. It is our belief that, with the proper therapeutic tools, anyone can achieve wellness and start the process of repairing personal, professional and family relationships.

To learn more about how inneractions can help, reach out via phone (818)-571-9841 or through our Website Contact Page.

Understanding Caregiver Grief

Usually we associate grief with the death of a loved one. But one area that often gets overlooked is the sadness and depression that can be associated with caregiving. Sure a parent or spouse may physically be here with us, but if they begin struggling with issues like Alzheimer’s Disease or dementia those same feelings of loss can easily arise.

Florida outlet The Coastal Breeze News offered an interesting snapshot into just how difficult roles like this can be (which makes sense, since that state has such a large population of seniors). With a particular focus on dementia, Breeze writer Shirley Woolaway shared stats and tips for people who are watching their loved ones slip away.

The piece also included info from the Family Caregiver Alliance, which highlighted that the loved ones of those struggling with dementia often experience sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness and a multitude of other physical ailments.

“It is important to identify our losses, identify our feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives,” an Alliance rep told the site. “If we can do this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts…instead they can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of something treasured which family and friends can likely sympathize with leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss with you.”

We all know how devastating a diagnosis like Alzheimer’s or dementia can be. In truth, the family member you once knew may quickly transform into somebody entirely different. The physical being will still be present, but the conversations and personality you remember will ultimately fade away.

The Alliance addressed this issue too. “When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before he dies; we grieve the loss of the person’s former self,” the rep concluded. “Experiencing loss on a daily basis can be just as painful as the loss associated with a death. We may ‘wish it were over,’ or think of our loved one as already gone,’ but are assured these feelings are normal. What anticipatory grief does is prepare us for the inevitable, allow us to make end of life plans, and experience the pain in stages. It may or may not lessen one’s grief when the person dies.”

Suggestions for dealing with these feelings include journaling, physical outlets (such as exercising) and attending support groups. The latter happens to be where inneractions can come in and offer assistance. Grief happens to be one of the larger focal points of our outpatient program, with an emphasis on loss and the stresses of letting go of a family member. If this is an issue that you or someone you know is struggling with, contact our offices today.