Getting the news that you’re expecting is one of the greatest joys a couple can experience. But for a good portion of pregnant mothers, that elation can turn to devastating sadness when a miscarriage occurs. And truth be told, support is not common in this area (as it may be for a parent or friend who has passed). Sometimes the pregnancy may not even be public news and often times, it is a difficult conversation for loved ones to bring up. BBC News addressed this grief issue quite eloquently in one of their new articles, highlighting the pain and the support that is available.
A miscarriage can occur at anytime throughout the nine months of a pregnancy. And it can be just as emotionally painful early on, as it is closer to the third trimester. Women who have experienced it multiple times have been known to sink into deep depressions and handle any future pregnancies with anxiety and uneasiness. British blogger Anna Whitehouse has gone through five miscarriages and opened up about her pain to the BBC.
“I posted something on my site and just said, ‘I did choose a name too soon,” she explained. “I did decorate a nursery too soon. And there is nothing that can prepare you for that eerie silence on the scan, a silence that you’re just willing, willing to be filled with the rapid sound of a heartbeat.'”
For Whitehouse, writing was the therapeutic approach that helped her heal. As she put it, “opening up the grief” and sharing her experience online allowed others who had gone through similar losses to write back and offer support. And as she correctly pointed out, this is not a common topic that is addressed on sites or in the media. That is something she finds particularly distressing, as many women (and their spouses) may feel like they’re suffering alone.
Whitehouse has now partnered with a charity org called Tommy’s, which is working to add viral support to parents who have experienced miscarriages. They have even created their own hashtag (titled #TogetherForChange) to challenge the stigma of silence around baby loss.
“Baby loss isn’t just ‘one of those things’ or a ‘bunch of cells’,” Whitehouse added when discussing the campaign. “And these feelings of guilt and jealousy can be exacerbated and engrained by our daily phone-scrolling through feeds of seemingly perfect [lives]. Tommy’s hope that by challenging the social media taboo and the notion of a ‘perfect pregnancy’, people will come together for support following baby loss and become one voice challenging for medical answers and greater awareness.”