It has been said that everyone needs to grieve in their own personal way. And that is something that we fully support. But if tools and tips are available to help with the process, why not make yourself aware of them? Author Laurie Burrows Grad recently published a new book touching upon this topic titled, You Can Come Back Now: Plowing Through Grief and Surviving. In it, she touched on five key points that can help people who recently lost a loved one.

Burrows Grad, herself, experienced intense emotional grief following the death of her husband of 47 years. Speaking to Parade Magazine, she recounted watching beloved life partner, Peter, pass away of a heart attack in her arms.

“One minute he was laughing and happy, and the next minute he was gone,” Burrows Grad explained in the article. “I fell to the floor in heaving sobs like you see actors do in the movies. But it wasn’t a movie. This was real life and it was happening to me.”

That tragedy happened three years ago and in the time since, Burrows Grad added that she was able to “plow through” the pain thanks to some key points listed below…

Coping Tip #1: Value Friendships

In her book, Burrows Grad delved into the amazing healing power that close friends can provide. It is important to reach out to your inner circle and express yourself in an honest way, allowing for vulnerability and tears.

Coping Tip #2: Emphasize Sensitivity

There is a lot of uncomfortableness that can accompany grieving and many times people may say the wrong thing (“you’re loved one is in a better place,” etc). If what you’re hearing isn’t comforting, let others know that. Don’t be afraid to correct people and stand your ground.

Coping Tip #3: Use Humor

Death can be incredibly sad, but finding lighthearted moments is normal and therapeutic. Try to remember funny memories, watch a comedy film or even “go blue” with jokes during the funeral, if it can help you cope.

Coping Tip #4: Feed Yourself

Burrows Grad highlighted hearty meals as a way to get through the painful moments. Perhaps partake in a dinner party, go to a restaurant that brings back fond recollections or focus on a cooking hobby. These were all successful exercises for her.

Coping Tip #5: Write and Journal

Outlets are an essential component of the grieving journey and writing happens to be one of the better ones to focus on. Here you can pour your thoughts out on paper, documenting deep emotions, old memories or daily task lists to help you stay focused.