Coping With A Rageaholic

 

Often times, we write about people who are dealing with anger issues and the ways that they can find resolutions. But what if the “rageaholic,” isn’t you per se, but rather a spouse, friend or family member? Suffering on the sidelines is no easy task and there are certainly techniques to cope with that role as well. Psych Central, in fact, outlined some helpful tips for anyone who’s close to a person exhibiting extreme anger.

 

The first key point that they identified was Not To Get Sucked In To The Drama. Rageaholics often feed off of negative reactions to their behavior. If a loved one is trying to provoke you into a yelling match or crying spell, do your best to turn the other way. Matching their behavior with similar emotions will do neither of you any good and could cause greater damage to the relationship.

 

Another tip is for loved ones to Prepare Themselves for unexpected outbursts. If possible, try to rehearse scenarios in your head before you expect a fit of rage. If there is a sensitive subject, know how to respond in a calm and eloquent manner. The key here is to never be caught off guard. Calmer resolutions can help diffuse an angry situation.

 

If the rageholic is a spouse or significant other, Psych Central fully endorses the concept of Walking Away From The Relationship. This is especially poignant if the other half has resorted to some type of violence. “Certain relationships just aren’t worth struggling to keep,” article writer Tamara Hill explained. “Some people are born toxic and years of therapy may not reduce their toxicity. In cases such as this where verbal, physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse is likely to occur, leave.”

 

Knowing Thyself is another key point singled out in the article. This leads into the concept of self-care and therapy. Yes the rageaholic needs to get help, but (truth be told) so do you. It can be a tremendous emotional strain to have a loved one with anger issues and if you’re not finding an outlet for yourself, there could be negative consequences. Take some time away, talk to a professional and work on yourself as well.

 

In total, Hill outlined 10 important points worth sharing. We definitely encourage our readers to click over to her article. And always know, that the Inneractions team is available for people with anger issues AND their loved ones.

 

Identifying The Signs Of Rage Disorder

We all experiences angry moments in everyday life, but at what point does it go beyond that? When does frustration turn to rage and when does “rage” become a problem that requires professional help? The website Romper.com did a nice job categorizing the warning signs of rage disorder into six identifiable traits. Certainly there is more that goes into anger analysis than this (deeper therapy discussions, psychiatric evaluations), but they are some good first steps and we are happy to share them below…

Sign #1: You Can’t Control When You Get Angry

The buzzword most closely associated with this trait is “unmanageability.” If the frustration levels continually overheat and simple inconveniences always seem to set you off, consider this a definitive warning sign of rage.

Sign #2: Guilt After Anger

Remorse is a big part of anger management. Embarrassment is a common trait as well. Having guilty feelings after an outburst can often mean that it was unjustified and probably something out of your control. Rather than experience the shame, seek out help after an temper explosion.

Sign #3: Unhealthy Anger Outlets

This is where things can start to get dangerous. If your frustration levels are leading you to turn to substances or self-harm as a soothing mechanism, there is a real problem at hand.

Sign #4: Continuous Frustration

Romper likened this signal to the term Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). In this scenario, you may find yourself constantly volatile and generally unhappy. There is an extremist attitude of “nothing goes my way,” which can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts.

Sign #5: Forgetting What Happened During A State Of Rage

Think of this like the “blackout” moments that occur when some drinks or uses too much. Yes, rage can most certainly lead to lost memories because of being too caught up in the moment. If you can’t remember what set you off or how you behaved, your anger is at a very unhealthy stage.

Sign #6: Violence

One of the most dangerous warning signs of them all. If your fits of rage lead to fights, breaking objects or the abuse of the loved one, getting immediate help is essential. No upsetting moment merits harming another person. This could also lead to fines, arrests and serious jail time.

Our advice is to peruse these warning signs carefully and if any (or all) pertain to you, reach out to a trained professional who can help you cope and conquer your demons.

  If you’ve been following our blogs, then you may recall our piece a few weeks back about films that are offering inspiration for addiction survivors. Well for every ying there is a yang, and this week there are a handful of movies being called out for just the opposite. Over on Netflix, two films in particular have been singled out for being insensitive about the topic of mental illness.   Interestingly, the two movies in question happen to be the most popular offerings on the platform right now. Bird Box stars Oscar winner Sandra Bullock and received roughly 45 million views over this holiday month. Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (the other film in question) has been dominating social media as well, but both cover very dark subject matter.   Bird Box has been criticized for “demonizing” mental illness. The plot concerns invisible monsters who encourage victims to take their own lives. That alone is a very touchy subject and it has been said that the way these suicides are handled leave a lot to be desired. What’s worse though, is that people suffering from mental illness become the villains in this movie and actually contribute to the killings.   The website Popbuzz did an admirable job of summarizing the Twitter backlash (posted below).       Black Mirror isn’t faring much better with fans. The website The Mighty focused on that film, saying the plot features insensitive call outs to psychosis, delusions, paranoia and trauma (not to mention lots of blood and gore).   Though the Black Mirror backlash isn’t quite as intense as the Sandra Bullock movie, site writer Elizabeth Cassidy did mention that a warning should be issued before viewers click “Play.” And to her point…Despite the fact that these may be “trendy” films of the moment, you have every right to turn them away and encourage others to do the same.   “It’s OK to skip Bandersnatch if you’re sensitive to these topics,” Cassidy wrote. “Your health and safety are more important than the latest trendy show or movie. If you want to watch the movie but are concerned it might be too much, try watching it with someone you trust.”