The Stress Of Caring For The Elderly

 

Middle age can be a difficult time of life. Many people in this age bracket are carrying the load of a full-time job, hefty bill payments and parenting. One other component that has been proven to create a tremendous amount of stress involves the senior parents of 40 and 50-somethings. Often times, caregiving for them becomes another component to this equation and one that can create an emotional (and financial) toll.

 

CBS News recently covered this growing stressor, highlighting the costs and energy that go into caregiving for an elderly loved one. The article included results from a recent study that illustrates just how drastic a toll this can be.

 

According to research from The National Retirement Institute, 16 percent of women caregivers (and 6 percent of men) have to switch their full-time jobs to manage an ailing parent. An additional 12 percent actually quit work altogether. This can create a lot of anxiety when it comes to finances, leading to an increase in support from governmental programs.

 

“Our study found that only 20 percent of caregivers are able to receive some kind of financial support,” a Retirement Institute rep told the site. “More than half of them spend their own money, which on average can cost about $4,000 a month.”

 

And that just covers the money component. There is also the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies elderly caregiving. Additional survey results showed that 47 percent of grown children assisting their parents suffer from depression and almost 57 percent feel the need for counseling or professional support.

 

A more informal survey on the topic, carried out by Caregiving.com and shared on The Chicago Tribune, showed that caregivers for an ailing loved one rated their average stress level at 4.2 out of 5. In extreme cases, this has led to some tragic consequences. One example given was a recent murder/suicide in Illinois, where a caregiver shot the elderly patient, then pointed the gun on herself.

 

Denise Brown, an expert in the field who was interviewed by The Tribune, shared plenty of insights in the article.

 

“We can sometimes think no one will understand how hard this is or what really goes on during the day,” Brown explained. “The emotional toll of caregiving can be significant; it is isolating and lonely, and we really want people to know that there is support for them and there’s understanding and there is help. They don’t have to go it alone.”

 

We certainly agree with that sentiment and are more than happy to do our part to assist struggling caregivers. If this is an issue you, or someone you are close to, is dealing with, please do not hesitate to reach out.

 

Understanding Caregiver Grief

Usually we associate grief with the death of a loved one. But one area that often gets overlooked is the sadness and depression that can be associated with caregiving. Sure a parent or spouse may physically be here with us, but if they begin struggling with issues like Alzheimer’s Disease or dementia those same feelings of loss can easily arise.

Florida outlet The Coastal Breeze News offered an interesting snapshot into just how difficult roles like this can be (which makes sense, since that state has such a large population of seniors). With a particular focus on dementia, Breeze writer Shirley Woolaway shared stats and tips for people who are watching their loved ones slip away.

The piece also included info from the Family Caregiver Alliance, which highlighted that the loved ones of those struggling with dementia often experience sadness, depression, anger, guilt, sleeplessness and a multitude of other physical ailments.

“It is important to identify our losses, identify our feelings, and let ourselves grieve the changes that have happened in our lives,” an Alliance rep told the site. “If we can do this, our feelings will less often erupt as angry outbursts…instead they can more easily be expressed as a shared loss of something treasured which family and friends can likely sympathize with leading to deeper communication and stronger relationships with those going through the loss with you.”

We all know how devastating a diagnosis like Alzheimer’s or dementia can be. In truth, the family member you once knew may quickly transform into somebody entirely different. The physical being will still be present, but the conversations and personality you remember will ultimately fade away.

The Alliance addressed this issue too. “When caring for someone over time, we may start to grieve that person long before he dies; we grieve the loss of the person’s former self,” the rep concluded. “Experiencing loss on a daily basis can be just as painful as the loss associated with a death. We may ‘wish it were over,’ or think of our loved one as already gone,’ but are assured these feelings are normal. What anticipatory grief does is prepare us for the inevitable, allow us to make end of life plans, and experience the pain in stages. It may or may not lessen one’s grief when the person dies.”

Suggestions for dealing with these feelings include journaling, physical outlets (such as exercising) and attending support groups. The latter happens to be where inneractions can come in and offer assistance. Grief happens to be one of the larger focal points of our outpatient program, with an emphasis on loss and the stresses of letting go of a family member. If this is an issue that you or someone you know is struggling with, contact our offices today.