Adults Coping With Alcoholic Parents

 

Growing up in an alcoholic household can be tremendously traumatic for a child. But there are instances when the problem remains buried or perhaps nonexistent until that child reaches adulthood. As you grow older and more observant, you may begin picking up signals that a parent in the home was hiding an addiction. And as difficult as it may be; once you hit adulthood, you may be called upon to identify and resolve this life-threatening issue.

 

The BBC actually flagged this growing trend on their website. In an article on their homepage, the global news outlet called out a sharp increase in grown children taking their parents into treatment. For example, the Association for the Children of Alcoholics (also known as ACOA) received inquiries from more than 23,000 people last year. That pales in comparison to the stats from 2013, which leveled off at 6,400.

 

But the data doesn’t end there. The site went on to report that as many as one in three older adults battling alcoholism first developed it later in life. Now there could be a myriad of reasons for this occurrence. An aging parent may find themselves drinking after the loss of a spouse, or perhaps depression after retirement. They could also be dealing with more physical pain at an advanced age and look to booze as a coping mechanism.

 

This scenario can be especially difficult for the adult children, as they never grew up with alcoholism in the home. Seeing a problem occur somewhat suddenly in an older parent can stir up a variety of difficult emotions, as NACOA rep Stephanie Page explained to The BBC.

 

“The parent may have retired and is lonely; they may have had issues adjusting to retirement,” Page told he site. “The adult child of the alcoholic often finds that really difficult because they haven’t seen this side of them before and they may not know what to do. It can be really surreal seeing this side to your parent.”

 

Having to take the lead and “reverse roles” with a parent can be very difficult, especially when it comes to seeking out treatment. At Inneractions, we have been through these instances countless times and are happy to offer support or counseling before step one is taken. If you or someone you are close to is dealing with an alcoholic older parent, please reach out so they can get the care and recovery regimen they need.

 

The ‘Drunkorexia’ Phenomenon

They often say that one disorder can feed into another. And that apparently is the case with a newer issue called “drunkorexia.” Covered in outlets like The Washington Post, this alarming trend involves purposely avoiding food throughout the day in preparation for a night of binge drinking. Worse yet…purging is also commonly linked, as a way to consume heavy cocktails without gaining weight.

Apparently, this is a growing phenomenon among primarily females. As the article explains…many young women do get caught up with body image concerns, while also getting enticed by the party-like atmosphere of college.

“Drunkorexia addresses the need to be the life of the party while staying extremely thin, pointing to a flawed mindset about body image and alcoholism among college students, mostly women,” Post journalist Cara Rosenbloom writes in her article. “But drinking in this manner is dangerous, particularly because the lack of food in the stomach means a faster absorption of alcohol.”

Indeed, it is common knowledge that drinking on an empty stomach can do a lot more damage on organs like the liver. It also lowers the immune system and puts people (especially with low weight counts) at a much greater risk for alcohol poisoning.

And when you think about young women on a college campus, the idea of being blackout drunk can raise many other concerns. Sadly, we are all aware of the sexual assault risks that can happen at those wild parties. Not to mention the drunk driving dangers and the possibility of fights and physical violence.

In an earlier article on The Fix website, drunkorexia was called out as a major concern. For one thing, it was reported that as many as 16 percent of U.S. college students engage in this practice. Plus with the advent of social media, airbrushed supermodels and glorified Instagram icons, “perfect” looks and body sizes are often thrust in front of these 20-somethings’ faces.

Dr. Douglas Bunnell, former president of the National Eating Disorders Association, was interviewed for the piece and believed that anorexia and alcoholism make for a very dangerous combination. He also mentioned that it was easy to see the allure of both from the eyes of a vulnerable young coed.

“Both disorders are behaviors that are glorified and reinforced,” Dr. Bunell told the site. “Binge drinking is almost cool and hip, and losing weight and being thin is a cultural imperative for young women in America. Mixing both is not surprising, and it has reached a tipping point in terms of public awareness.”

Why Are Women Drinking More?

Recently, some stats were released that sent shockwaves through the recovery community. In a span of roughly 10 years, female alcohol consumption has shot up dramatically. In fact, from the period of 2002 to 2012, the percentage of U.S. women who drink more than once a week went from 45 percent to 67 percent. Obviously this begs the question, “why are women drinking more?”  And that’s something that The Fix.com has aimed to answer.

In a piece published this month, the recovery news site broke down the “social” reasons more women are choosing to indulge in wine and spirits. This includes everything from work happy hours, to online dating, to TV and movie stereotypes. Sadly, it does seem as though there are more societal pressures than ever before.

Quoting writer Ginny Hogan, the site touched upon some unique circumstances surrounding females today.

“The reality is that women often drink for different reasons than men do, and it’s not a stretch to think that those reasons often stem from social pressures that women face but men don’t,” Hogan explained. “When we put social pressure on women to not ever appear stressed or anxious, I worry that we instead make alcohol a more appealing option.”

Hogan also cited the “work hard, play hard” mentality that encompasses corporate America. In order to blend in to the executive boys club, many female vice presidents find themselves at company events surrounded by beer and hard alcohol. Though they might not feel inclined to drink, “fitting in” with senior leaders may push them down that path.

Rising the corporate ladder also incurs quite a bit of anxiety. Similar to men, female business leaders may find themselves “needing” a glass of wine (or two) after work. This has often been mistakenly viewed as a way to relax or unwind, but too much alcohol can do quite the opposite.

Other callouts included the “strong” female characters portrayed in the media. Lead actresses on shows like The Good Wife, Scandal and Killing Eve all regularly consume booze, often with a signature drink like a whiskey sour or brandy tumbler.

Dating was the other big factor pointed to in the article. With more online meet ups occurring at bars and restaurants, it is not uncommon for alcohol to be ordered as part of an introductory evening out. Though these may not turn into binge nights, the more frequent they occur the more frequent the female will be consuming alcohol…which could lead to the start of a very bad habit.

Embracing Dry January

  For several years now, January has been identified as a month of sobriety. This is the time of year when people observe healthier resolutions and try to make “fresh starts” (particularly after the parties and celebrating that occurs in December). Of course, it’s a philosophy that we fully embrace and we are excited that several prominent outlets are publicizing the movement of Dry January.   The Chicago Tribune, for example, published a lengthy piece on the topic. In their story, they emphasized all of the emotional and physical benefits that accompany going clean. In their article, they emphasized all of the healthy beverage choices that can replace alcohol. They also delved into the financial benefits of cutting out booze for a month. Skipping bars can save an average person hundreds of dollars within a 30-day period. Another test would be for the scales. Try weighing yourself after completing Dry January and you’ll most certainly notice a difference.   Over on TheFix.com, some scientific evidence was presented, showing the benefits of the movement. Researchers at the University of Sussex discovered a significant portion of the people who commit to Dry January tend to cut back their alcohol intake throughout the rest of the year. The idea is, once you realize how enjoyable life can be without drinking you’ll probably choose to reduce it from your weekly activities.   One of the advocates of the study, Dr. Richard Piper, offered some psychological backing to the results as well.   “The brilliant thing about Dry January is that it’s not really about January,” he explained. “Being alcohol-free for 31 days shows us that we don’t need alcohol to have fun, to relax, to socialize.”   One other piece, which came from The Huffington Post, offered another important angle to Dry January. Writer Dr. Niall Campbell was of the opinion that this commitment should also be a time of self reflection. Of course it’s great to partake in a month of sobriety, but the fact that you have to do it all may mean that your drinking is a little too consistent (particularly if you find the exercise to be a struggle).   “If you think your drinking is problematic enough that you are thinking about not drinking in January, should you be thinking about stopping altogether or getting professional advice?,” Campbell wrote. “You need to ask yourself, ‘is it really possible for me to be a moderate drinker?’ Everybody wants to be a moderate, social drinker. The truth is, some people can’t be.”   If that is the case for you or someone you are close to, please reach out for an initial evaluation.  

When Anxiety Leads To Alcoholism

 

We have all heard the term “liquid courage” before. The idea that someone who is normally shy can suddenly become the life of the party after a few sips of beer or wine. Well sadly, many social anxiety sufferers do believe that myth and now new evidence is showing that people with those afflictions are more prone to becoming alcoholics.

 

A recent study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (and shared on the Newsweek site) touched on this subject and found some interesting statistics taken from a grouping of 97 volunteers. Everyone who participated in the research admittedly had varying degrees of shyness. On nights out and during social events, a majority chose to partake in drinking solely for purpose of “loosening up.” Their belief was that social anxiety can be lessened after alcohol consumption.

 

“Shyness can be a symptom of social anxiety disorder,” the study authors relayed to Newsweek. “In turn, individuals with this disorder often turn to alcohol use disorder in order to cope with their symptoms although this is not advised. For instance, in the U.S. social anxiety disorder precedes alcohol use disorder in 80 percent of cases in patients who experience both conditions.”

 

One of the true surprising stats of the study were the effects these people felt the morning after they drank. During the so-called “hangover period,” anxiety levels among these shy volunteers was said to have increased dramatically. The scary thing here, is the development of a potential cycle. With the increase of anxiety the following day, comes the increased need to drink again and “calm the nerves.”

 

University of Exeter professor Celia Morgan was also quoted in the Newsweek article and felt that the day after results deserved further examination.

 

“We know that many people drink to ease anxiety felt in social situations, she added. “But this research suggests that this might have rebound consequences the next day, with more shy individuals more likely to experience this, sometimes debilitating, aspect of hangover. These findings also suggest that these habits, in turn, might be linked to people’s chance of developing a problem with alcohol.”

 

Interestingly, the term “hanxiety” was used to describe these feelings. Combining symptoms of a hangover and anxiety, it classified the condition as a common occurrence. The ultimate recommendation was for socially anxious people to seek out professional assistance or counseling if alcohol continues to be their form of escape. Believe us when we say that drinking will only lead to bigger issues down the line and is never the proper coping mechanism for an emotional hurdle.

 

Americans Are Drinking More Alcohol

New research from The American Medical Association is pointing to an alarming trend. Apparently Americans’ consumption of alcohol is on the rise, particularly among women, the elderly and minorities.

The research also pointed to booming sales figures for the booze industry, which were way up over the past several years. And as far as weekly drinking goes, 72.7 percent of U.S. citizens now say that they regularly indulge (versus 65 percent a decade ago).

Keep in mind that those stats only account for “social drinkers.” There was also research conducted on people who were high risk alcoholics. That segment of America is up by 30 percent over the past 10 years.

The authors behind the study hope these figures will be used to educate lawmakers and health care professionals, bringing national attention to the over consumption of wine, beer and spirits.

“These findings really highlight the urgency of educating the public, policymakers, and health care professionals about high-risk drinking and alcohol abuse disorder,” the authors wrote. “It is important to destigmatize these conditions and encourage those who cannot reduce their alcohol consumption on their own to seek treatment.”

The researchers also made a point to call upon the rising sales figures within the alcohol industry. Contrary to popular belief, the price of booze has not shot up dramatically over the past 20 years. Yet within that same timeframe, spending has gone up by 56.6 percent. One telling stat there, was that the baby boomer generation was making most of these purchases; consuming way more than the younger millennial set.

“Our findings suggest that older Americans increased their alcohol spending dramatically, which resonates with growing public health concerns pertaining to Baby Boomers and booze,” the study authors added. “In a related finding, retired professionals spent 186% more money on alcohol. Conversely, those younger than 25 spent less in 2016 than in 1996, attesting to a trend in millennials choosing to live sober.”

And sadly, those increased revenues are leading beer and spirit brands to increase their advertising spends. Brands like Bud Light are budgeting out over $200 million a year on commercials and digital ads designed to entice drinkers. And Heineken isn’t too far behind, with an annual spend of $118 on promos and sponsorships.

We know firsthand just how dangerous alcoholism can be (especially with constant temptations in front of you). If you or someone you love is struggling with a drinking problem, know that help is always available and you are not alone.

Alcoholism And Bipolar Disorder

 

We have mentioned many times before how mental health and addiction issues can often intertwine. And according to recent research uncovered by U.S. News & World Report, people suffering from bipolar disorder (also known as “BD”) may be most at risk. Apparently, it is the highest-ranking co-occurring disorder associated with substance abuse.

 

U.S. News specifically called out alcoholism as a common link. Sadly, BD sufferers tend to abuse the bottle the most and are more likely to be hospitalized because of chronic drinking. The research also points out that the reverse may be true. In that scenario, people who are alcoholics and have a family history of mood disorders can quickly develop BD as their addiction worsens.

 

Both of these conditions can quickly escalate into a vicious cycle that U.S. News writer Brook McKenzie aptly labeled, a “tornado.”

 

“For those living with bipolar disorder, this mood disorder is best described as a tornado violently ripping through your life with unpredictable episodes of mania and depression,” McKenzie wrote. “These extreme mood swings and addictive tendencies can interfere with the functions of daily life at work, with family and other interpersonal relationships.”

 

McKenzie went on to list some BD warning signs, as many people are living with this disorder and are undiagnosed. Certain callouts include disorganized thinking (such as clutter across a home or car), crying for no reason, restlessness, euphoria, impulsivity and an increased use of profanity.

 

He also discussed the labels of BD, which include bipolar 1 and bipolar 2. Bipolar 1 is the most extreme case, where psychiatric hospitalization is necessary and day-to-day functions are impossible. Bipolar 2, however, is the more common occurrence and the one that is associated with alcoholism. It is considered milder and often leads to depression or suicidal thoughts. Research has shown that this is the stage where people often turn to drinking, as a way to numb feelings and ease emotional pain.

 

Of course, as we all know, alcohol DOES NOT lessen a person’s emotional pain and, in fact, increases it. Pairing this with an issue like BD or manic depression can be a very scary combination. McKenzie rightly calls out therapy and professional support as a solution for people suffering from these co-occurring disorders. That type of work is something the team at Inneractions specializes in and we are always available to step in and help at a moment’s notice.

Female Alcoholism May Be On The Rise

Typically, stories of wild drinking debauchery concern men. And historically, studies have shown that the male gender tends to be more prone to boozing. But the tide may be turning, according to data released by WebMD. Their research is starting to show a sharp rise in female alcoholism. Not only that, there are now more documented cases of women binging and suffering from chronic drinking issues, such as cirrhosis of the liver.

Truth be told, this may actually be a longstanding issue that is only now getting the attention it deserves. Recovery advocate (and Instagram influencer) Laura McKowen continues to highlight this problem across her social media profiles. Her stories trail it back several generations and include personal accounts of her own.

McKowen had initially thought of herself as a “casual drinker.” That is, until her habit began to interfere with the welfare of her family.

“I put [my daughter] in danger at a friend’s wedding. I left her unattended for a long period of time. She was 4,” McKowen told the site. “I knew eventually, I would lose custody of my daughter if I kept drinking. It was inevitable. I knew I would lose pretty much everything.”

Since entering treatment and coming clean, McKowen has become a fierce advocate of the recovery movement. She also has made it a point to bring the topic of female alcoholism to her 30,000 followers.

After sharing McKowen’s story, WebMD shared some alarming statistics about this growing trend. “High-risk drinking” among women (equating to 3 or more drinks consumed in 1 day), shot up by 58 percent over the past 15 years. There was also a stat about alcohol-related ER visits for U.S. females. That number increased by 5 percent over the last year, surpassing the growth rate for men.

And these habits are forming at a much younger age than previously thought. A recent study from the National Institute on Drug Abuse found that teenage girls are picking up the bottle much more frequently now than in decades past.

“Now, by eighth grade, more females than males are drinking,” a researcher told TheFix.com. “Females are now, for the first time in history, more likely to drink in 10th grade than males; and by 12th grade, where there used to be a big gap 10 or 15 years ago, it’s now dead even.”

As always, our hope is strictly to educate people about the facts and erase any stigmas women may have if they’re facing an addiction. If a mom, daughter or sister in your family is experiencing anything like this, get them help before it’s too late.

No Alcohol For New Moms

Alcoholism is obviously a crippling addiction and we all know that it can do tremendous damage to babies in utero. But additional research is showing that new moms need to avoid the bottle too. Just because the baby is born, doesn’t mean you have free reign to continue bad habits; particularly when you look at the serious risks associated with drinking and breastfeeding.

According to a new article in The Daily Mail, alcohol in breast milk can severely impact developing babies’ brain cells. It also reduces their thinking and reasoning abilities, potentially causing permanent damage that can live with these children for the rest of their lives.

There is also the deficiency component, as breast milk tainted with alcohol does not provide the vital nutrients needed for babies to grow and mature. And let’s not forget that being inebriated around an infant creates tremendous risks as well. Not only is your judgment impaired, your cognitive functions are severely impacted; raising the risk for an accident while holding a baby.

The common misconception is that drinking is ok after a baby comes to term. While we will all agree that expectant mothers should NEVER touch harmful substances, often times addicted parents feel that it is ok to resume their destructive behavior after a healthy newborn is delivered. Nothing could be further from the truth.

As the research showed, no alcohol should be consumed during the breastfeeding phase. Even a casual glass of wine could lead to a harmful transfer of alcoholic substances. And sadly, this is a fact that many new parents don’t realize.

“The safest option is to abstain from alcohol completely during both pregnancy and breastfeeding,” study author Louisa Gibson explained to The Mail.  “This study suggests that there is no safe level of alcohol consumption, with every extra drink causing a little bit more harm.”

And this research was not conducted lightly. Over 5,000 mothers and babies were analyzed over a course of 10 years. Throughout that time, the development of children exposed to alcoholic breast milk was measured and significant issues were uncovered, from babyhood through middle school age. Further data showed that alcohol affected the daily functions of each of these babies, making it harder for them to focus and fall asleep.

Clearly if you have the urge to drink while nursing a young child, there is a serious problem afoot. If you sense this is happening to you or a new mom that you are close with, please reach out and get in touch with someone who can help.

How To Handle An Addicted Parent

No matter how old we get, there will always be uncomfortable subjects to discuss with mom and dad. Even as we begin to think of them more as peers (or even friends), they are still the ones who raised us and a level of respect is always necessary. That is part of the reason why confronting an addiction with an older parent proves to be so difficult. But if substance abuse is occurring, it needs to be addressed for the safety and welfare of the family. U.S. News and World Reports recently published a helpful article on this topic, pointing out tips when it comes to parental interventions.

One of the trends that happens to be rising among older Americans is alcoholism. In fact, U.S. News is reporting that as many as 15 percent of U.S. seniors qualify as “at-risk drinkers.”

So how do we approach a mother, father or grandparent suffering from this? With care and thoughtfulness, as addressed in the article’s highlights below…

Find The Right Time To Discuss It

U.S. News emphasized the best moments to bring up a sensitive issue like substance abuse. Their recommendation is to do it during moments of sobriety, or even in the midst of a hangover when the parent is experiencing physical pain because of their problem. Trying to approach a parent while inebriated can prove challenging and ultimately doesn’t always lead to a meaningful conversation.

Avoid Labels

Use your words wisely, the article warns. Throwing out terms like “alcoholic” or “addict” can create defensiveness and even humiliate a parent. The point here is not to criticize the loved one, but rather to offer encouragement and support. Let them know that there is no shame in their problem and that is very common for people their age.

Continue To Show Respect For Your Parents

For many seniors, it is difficult to receive lectures from their grown children. They are, after all, the wise people who raised you and certainly deserve respect. U.S. News advises to avoid “talking down” to a loved one battling an addiction. Emphasize that this is coming from a place of love and genuine concern. Stern lectures and ultimatums can actually backfire in these types of situations.

Offer To Do The Heavy Lifting

If your parent does show interest in conquering their addiction, help guide them along the process. If it makes things easier, you can be the one to reach out to the appropriate treatment facility and coordinate their journey into sobriety.