Overcoming Panic Attacks

We’ve talked about anxiety many times before on our blog page. And if you happen to suffer from that condition, then you’re probably no stranger to panic attacks. Only those who have experienced them can understand how frightening they can be and how difficult they are to overcome. Though there’s no exact science on how to prevent a full-blown panic attack, there are techniques that can soothe the tension, shorten the duration and reduce its intensity.

The website Bustle.com did a nice job summarizing a few of the critical ways to overcome a panic attack. We’ve shared a handful of them below…

Tip #1: Close Your Eyes

If you are in the midst of a panic attack, you may feel like the world around you is crumbling. You may also feel like people are staring at you or judging you. A quick way to overcome that is to simply close your eyes and the reduce the amount of external stimulation that is surrounding you. This can also quickly create a sense of calming.

Tip #2: Slow Your Breathing

There are times when having a panic can feel like a literal heart attack. Rather than feed into that anxiety, it is recommended to slow your breathing patterns. Avoid the urge to gasp for air because, in fact, that can worsen the experience. A helpful exercise can be counting to four before exhaling. Hopefully after a few times, you’ll notice a soothing sensation.

Tip #3: Repeat An Affirmation

You may not believe it, but something as simple a song lyric can help you overcome a panic attack. If you focus on a phrase (or even a prayer) then keep repeating it in your head, you should be able to lessen the intensity of the attack. “Using a soothing and repetitive phrase can break the cycle of rumination,” therapist Claire Bidwell Smith told Bustle. “This replaces the anxious thought with one that sends a message to the brain to restore the autonomic nervous system to a more serene state.”

Tip #4: Change Your Environment

There is nothing wrong with walking out of a room if you’re in the middle of a panic attack. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the workplace or at someone’s house, just try changing your surroundings (preferably to an open, outdoor space). This can be a quick way to soothe the nerves and it can hopefully expose you to a calmer, more serene environment.

When Anxiety Leads To Alcoholism

 

We have all heard the term “liquid courage” before. The idea that someone who is normally shy can suddenly become the life of the party after a few sips of beer or wine. Well sadly, many social anxiety sufferers do believe that myth and now new evidence is showing that people with those afflictions are more prone to becoming alcoholics.

 

A recent study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (and shared on the Newsweek site) touched on this subject and found some interesting statistics taken from a grouping of 97 volunteers. Everyone who participated in the research admittedly had varying degrees of shyness. On nights out and during social events, a majority chose to partake in drinking solely for purpose of “loosening up.” Their belief was that social anxiety can be lessened after alcohol consumption.

 

“Shyness can be a symptom of social anxiety disorder,” the study authors relayed to Newsweek. “In turn, individuals with this disorder often turn to alcohol use disorder in order to cope with their symptoms although this is not advised. For instance, in the U.S. social anxiety disorder precedes alcohol use disorder in 80 percent of cases in patients who experience both conditions.”

 

One of the true surprising stats of the study were the effects these people felt the morning after they drank. During the so-called “hangover period,” anxiety levels among these shy volunteers was said to have increased dramatically. The scary thing here, is the development of a potential cycle. With the increase of anxiety the following day, comes the increased need to drink again and “calm the nerves.”

 

University of Exeter professor Celia Morgan was also quoted in the Newsweek article and felt that the day after results deserved further examination.

 

“We know that many people drink to ease anxiety felt in social situations, she added. “But this research suggests that this might have rebound consequences the next day, with more shy individuals more likely to experience this, sometimes debilitating, aspect of hangover. These findings also suggest that these habits, in turn, might be linked to people’s chance of developing a problem with alcohol.”

 

Interestingly, the term “hanxiety” was used to describe these feelings. Combining symptoms of a hangover and anxiety, it classified the condition as a common occurrence. The ultimate recommendation was for socially anxious people to seek out professional assistance or counseling if alcohol continues to be their form of escape. Believe us when we say that drinking will only lead to bigger issues down the line and is never the proper coping mechanism for an emotional hurdle.

 

Holidays Without A Loved One

 

The holidays are certainly a special time. For most, they commemorate annual traditions and family togetherness. But if this happens to be the first year without a loved one due to an untimely passing, then the tone can easily shift towards pain or grief. This is actually a very common occurrence during December and one that begs further conversations.

 

The website Health.com recently touched upon the topic of grief during the holidays, offering solutions and coping mechanisms for people dealing with a difficult month. Truth be told, it doesn’t matter if your loved one passed early in the year or a few weeks back; a Christmas, Hanukkah or New Year’s celebration without them can be just as painful.

 

One thing that Health emphasized was not trying to shut out those memories. Instead, writer Rebeca Soffer mentioned carrying on at least one ongoing tradition that had been handled by the deceased loved one. Whether it’s a “famous recipe,” an after dinner routine or a decoration that symbolizes them. As Soffer put it; this ritual can be very minor, but can serves to overcome a state of grief.

 

“Consider choosing one treasured ritual, like opening gifts in your sister’s preferred order or watching your husband’s favorite holiday film, and give yourself permission for flexibility on the next holiday if your grief is in a different place then,” she wrote. “This kind of selectivity allows you to foster a sense of connection without exhausting yourself physically and mentally, or turning the month into an emotional minefield.”

 

Another way of coping recommended by the site, was finding a charitable outlet to donate time towards. The holidays are, after all, about giving back, so doing good deeds during this season can feel especially poignant. If possible, try volunteering for a cause that was close to your lost loved one. It can actually be very therapeutic to spend time doing something that you know they felt passionate about.

 

One final piece of advice (which we also agree with) is to seek out help when it’s needed. Many people do tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves during the holidays, whether it’s shopping, hosting or what have you. Don’t let added grief push you to a breaking point. Talking to a professional is always a recommended plan of action after someone close passes and our team is just a phone call away.

 

The Marriage Between Grief And Anxiety

We have all heard of the five stages of grief. There is, of course, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And while those certainly play into the way we mourn a lost loved one, it is important to highlight anxiety as well.

The Washington Post did a nice job of bringing this connection to the forefront in a new article that was published this week. In it, writer Claire Bidwell Smith explains that watching someone close to you pass can stir up all kind of stressful emotions. Vulnerability is a major part of the grieving experience, as seeing death firsthand often makes us question our own mortality. If the person who you lost was a peer or a spouse, that can most certainly intensify those feelings.

Bidwell Smith, who also happens to be a professional therapist, delved into many of the symptoms she has seen with clients experiencing sudden loss. Common issues include panic attacks and bursts of rage, all stemming from inner anxiety. She believes that societal norms also play a part in this tense grieving process, as we are often forced to jump back into our regular routines following a loved one’s funeral.

“Our culture is not very adept at making space for grief,” Bidwell Smith writes. “That was true over 20 ago when I was going through it, and is still largely true today. Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook, has been particularly vocal in the past few years, following the sudden death of her husband, about the lack of support and acknowledgment for grief in the workplace.”

Those who are in throws of corporate America are well aware of these “norms.” Often times, a bereavement leave is only one to two days; hardly enough time to process difficult feelings. Immediately after a passing, most people are expected to show right back up for work and jump into the daily grind without fully processing their feelings.

From our own experience, as Inneractions grief session leaders, we can tell you that burying upsetting emotions is never the right answer. Sooner or later these anxious thoughts will re-emerge and, often times, in more severe way. We certainly want to make ourselves available to anyone facing a difficult situation and applaud Bidwell Smith for bringing this topic to the front pages of The Post. 

She ends her piece with an important quote from Kübler-Ross...

“You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”

Alcoholism And Bipolar Disorder

 

We have mentioned many times before how mental health and addiction issues can often intertwine. And according to recent research uncovered by U.S. News & World Report, people suffering from bipolar disorder (also known as “BD”) may be most at risk. Apparently, it is the highest-ranking co-occurring disorder associated with substance abuse.

 

U.S. News specifically called out alcoholism as a common link. Sadly, BD sufferers tend to abuse the bottle the most and are more likely to be hospitalized because of chronic drinking. The research also points out that the reverse may be true. In that scenario, people who are alcoholics and have a family history of mood disorders can quickly develop BD as their addiction worsens.

 

Both of these conditions can quickly escalate into a vicious cycle that U.S. News writer Brook McKenzie aptly labeled, a “tornado.”

 

“For those living with bipolar disorder, this mood disorder is best described as a tornado violently ripping through your life with unpredictable episodes of mania and depression,” McKenzie wrote. “These extreme mood swings and addictive tendencies can interfere with the functions of daily life at work, with family and other interpersonal relationships.”

 

McKenzie went on to list some BD warning signs, as many people are living with this disorder and are undiagnosed. Certain callouts include disorganized thinking (such as clutter across a home or car), crying for no reason, restlessness, euphoria, impulsivity and an increased use of profanity.

 

He also discussed the labels of BD, which include bipolar 1 and bipolar 2. Bipolar 1 is the most extreme case, where psychiatric hospitalization is necessary and day-to-day functions are impossible. Bipolar 2, however, is the more common occurrence and the one that is associated with alcoholism. It is considered milder and often leads to depression or suicidal thoughts. Research has shown that this is the stage where people often turn to drinking, as a way to numb feelings and ease emotional pain.

 

Of course, as we all know, alcohol DOES NOT lessen a person’s emotional pain and, in fact, increases it. Pairing this with an issue like BD or manic depression can be a very scary combination. McKenzie rightly calls out therapy and professional support as a solution for people suffering from these co-occurring disorders. That type of work is something the team at Inneractions specializes in and we are always available to step in and help at a moment’s notice.

Coping With A Rageaholic

 

Often times, we write about people who are dealing with anger issues and the ways that they can find resolutions. But what if the “rageaholic,” isn’t you per se, but rather a spouse, friend or family member? Suffering on the sidelines is no easy task and there are certainly techniques to cope with that role as well. Psych Central, in fact, outlined some helpful tips for anyone who’s close to a person exhibiting extreme anger.

 

The first key point that they identified was Not To Get Sucked In To The Drama. Rageaholics often feed off of negative reactions to their behavior. If a loved one is trying to provoke you into a yelling match or crying spell, do your best to turn the other way. Matching their behavior with similar emotions will do neither of you any good and could cause greater damage to the relationship.

 

Another tip is for loved ones to Prepare Themselves for unexpected outbursts. If possible, try to rehearse scenarios in your head before you expect a fit of rage. If there is a sensitive subject, know how to respond in a calm and eloquent manner. The key here is to never be caught off guard. Calmer resolutions can help diffuse an angry situation.

 

If the rageholic is a spouse or significant other, Psych Central fully endorses the concept of Walking Away From The Relationship. This is especially poignant if the other half has resorted to some type of violence. “Certain relationships just aren’t worth struggling to keep,” article writer Tamara Hill explained. “Some people are born toxic and years of therapy may not reduce their toxicity. In cases such as this where verbal, physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse is likely to occur, leave.”

 

Knowing Thyself is another key point singled out in the article. This leads into the concept of self-care and therapy. Yes the rageaholic needs to get help, but (truth be told) so do you. It can be a tremendous emotional strain to have a loved one with anger issues and if you’re not finding an outlet for yourself, there could be negative consequences. Take some time away, talk to a professional and work on yourself as well.

 

In total, Hill outlined 10 important points worth sharing. We definitely encourage our readers to click over to her article. And always know, that the Inneractions team is available for people with anger issues AND their loved ones.

 

Steering Away From Codependency

 

Falling into the rhythm of a codependent relationship is much more common than you think. And one of the biggest challenges that lies therein, is first identifying that there is a problem and second, finding a way out.

 

The website Psych Central did a nice job of bringing some of these issues to the forefront. Article writer Michelle Kunz bravely opened up about her own history of unhealthy relationships. Through her experiences, readers are able to get a real firsthand grasp of the dangers of codependence and why it needs to be addressed.

 

“A codependent will typically go above and beyond what most people will do to help a relationship succeed,” Kunz writes. “Giving far more effort, time, energy, attention, and other resources than their partner does. They often end up feeling angry, resentful, exhausted, lonely, and bitter. And every now and then they will do really desperate things to try to control the outcome.”

 

The truth of the matter is, codependency is damaging on both sides. For the person who’s desperate to stay, there can be control issues, rage and physical violence enacted toward the other partner. For the one who wants to leave, guilt, shame and depression play a significant role, leading to entrapment and unhealthy feelings.

 

As Kunz explained, she had a very hard time letting go of a former boyfriend. Red flags that she signaled out were begging tactics, inconsolable crying, unsafe sex (in the hopes of getting pregnant) and suicidal threats. While she admitted that these ploys did keep her partner around longer than expected, the relationship ended on a very sour note.

 

She also rightfully pointed out that the root of codependent traits often lie in a person’s childhood. Issues of abandonment, for example, can play a huge role in not wanting a partner to leave. Being shamed at a young age also feeds into it. Many people who have low self-worth fear losing their mate will leave them perpetually alone.

 

Ultimately, it is those early experiences that Kunz advises people to look back upon. Through counseling and inner exploration, relationship healing can start to take shape.

 

“Find the child within and pay attention,” she concludes. “Give him or her what he or she wanted so badly when he or she was actually little. Take off the mask and cape you’ve been wearing trying to save a relationship and tend to your inner child. Isn’t it time that someone finally loves him or her?”

 

Seven Symptoms Of Social Anxiety

  Anxiety can rear its head in many ways. One common trait happens when people are put into social situations. It is actually quite common to feel uncomfortable and uneasy within large groups (especially as we become more and more isolated through technology). But truth be told, this can turn into a very severe issue and (to their credit) The Philly Voice addressed it on the front of their website, along with diagnosable symptoms to look out for.   Sympton #1: Withdrawing From Social Events Sure it’s common to skip a party if you’re feeling tired or preoccupied. But if it starts happening more and more without a valid excuse, that may be something to look into. Most often, social anxiety sufferers will choose to decline invitations because of uncomfortableness or the fear of being singled out.   Sympton #2: Fear Of Meeting New People Staying in your “comfort zone” of friends can actually be a symptom of social anxiety. If you shy away from new coworkers or purposely avoid opportunities to make friends, this could be a warning sign.   Symptom #3: Oversensitivity To Criticism Of course no one likes to be criticized. But if this feeling begins to be crippling, take note. Social anxiety sufferers have a very difficult time receiving negative feedback and thus, go out of their way to avoid taking risks.   Symptom #4: Low Self-Esteem People who stay isolated often suffer from low self-esteem. One of the fears of attending events or mixers is that you will be judged and/or scrutinized. If these types of feelings are preventing you from going out, know that it is a common social anxiety occurrence.   Symptom #5: The “Shy” Label Now we all know there is nothing wrong with being shy or reserved, but if you have a hard time communicating with others that may go beyond that common label. If you have been described this way, do a deeper self-evaluation and see if your withdrawn nature may be a bit too extreme.   Symptom #6: Physical Symptoms Did you know that social anxiety can manifest itself physically? People suffering from this often experience heart palpitations, excessive sweating, dry throat and trembling. Worst of all, you could be putting your health at risk if these symptoms are continually ignored.   Symptom #7: Fear Of Being Judged Probably one of the biggest symptoms of social anxiety, the fear of judgment can create real mental health issues. Those suffering from this tend to be hypercritical of themselves, leading to depression and even suicidal tendencies.   Obviously, there are many levels of social anxiety. But if you find yourself saying “yes” to a majority of these symptoms, then you may want to seek professional help. We at inneractions are always available to talk this through, if you feel you need to reach out.  

Understanding The Grief Journey

Grieving a lost loved one is such a personal process. It has often been said that there is no right or wrong way to deal with death. For some, it’s therapeutic to channel energy into busywork. For others, it could turn to anger. And for many, extended bereavement time is needed for reflection and emotional closure. The important thing, of course, is to acknowledge that this event has happened and not bury difficult emotions.

Forbes recently did a nice job covering the mourning experience in a piece called Grieving Is Complicated. In it, writer Jeanne Croteau outlined common ways people cope with loss and the different methods that can be used to reach acceptance and closure.

“There are many books and articles written about death and, while they may be helpful to some, the reality is that grief is different for everyone,” Croteau writes. “You won’t know how you feel until you go through it and you will quickly realize the the process probably won’t be linear.”

Croteau, herself, openly discussed the recent death of her grandmother and the extreme toll it took on her life. If someone elderly in your life has passed, it can create a wide range of emotions; particularly if you had looked after them at some point. It is not unusual to experience feelings of relief after they go, knowing that the caretaker role has now been relinquished. That can often be accompanied by guilt however, ruminating about more that could have been done.

Croteau experienced those same exact emotions and even underwent fits of rage following the loss of her grandmother.

“After the nurse called to tell me my grandmother was gone, I cried for a little while but that sadness was quickly replaced by something unexpected,” she added. “Over the next few days, I alternated between feeling disbelief and uninhibited rage. The anger had begun in her final weeks but blossomed into a full grown mushroom cloud when she died.”

Croteau’s journey took many twists and turns after that, ultimately leading her to a place of acceptance. Along the way, however, she strongly praised the outside support she received from counselors and trained professionals. She also discussed the benefits of reading, quiet walks and alone time.

Again, mourning is a very individual process; but we believe that Croteau’s words hold true and will always advocate for ongoing support during times of loss.

Having ‘The Addiction Talk’ With Your Kids

  Did you know that nearly 21 million Americans over the age of 12 deal are caught up with addictions? That means that kids as young as 13 are facing serious issues with alcoholism and drug abuse. As a parent it may be easy to tell if a pre-teen in your family is struggling, but then question the becomes: How Do You Start That Delicate Conversation?   To their credit, The Huffington Post recently acknowledged this all too common issue and published a helpful article that outlines the ways parents can approach their kids about this topic. Their checklist covered inquisitive approaches (to see if your child may be using) and educational explorations (so they are aware of the substances and the dangers).   Step one involves openness and honesty.  “Kids are much more savvy today,” HuffPo addiction expert John Sovec explained in the article. “And open, honest conversations that take place now can set up the groundwork for keeping substances out of their future.”   That type of honesty may include revealing hard truths about your own past experiences with drugs and alcohol. Sovec added that today’s kids (particularly of the teen set) expect honest answers and don’t like to see their parents lie to them. If you deny experimenting in your younger years, that may actually backfire on you.   Scare tactics are also a no-no, according to the article. If they hear something like drinking beer will get you life in prison, they can easily fact check it and discover it’s a falsehood. At that point, your credibility may be hurt and actual scary stats (about overdoses and relapses) could have less of an impact.   In the same vein, Sovec emphasizes that addiction does not need to be vilified for teens. It is important to acknowledge that it is a disease and that not all people who use are evil.  
“It’s important to emphasize that if someone is addicted, that doesn’t make them a bad person. It means they’re sick,” he added. “Let them know that addiction is an disease, and though it may be tricky to recover from it, people can and do get better. They just need good doctors and support to treat it.”
  Having this difficult conversation is something we, at Inneractions, have had to do many times and we are definitely available as a support system for parents who think their kids may using. Just know that a gentle touch is always recommended and recovery is a reality at any age.