The Reality Of Survivor’s Guilt

 

This past month, there have been several troubling stories about Survivor’s Guilt and the suicides of those closely impacted by the Sandy Hook and Parkland shootings. Tragically, those who lived through those traumatic incidents wound up taking their own lives during pivotal anniversary dates and remembrances. The truth of the matter is, this is a very real issue and one that deserves to be addressed.

 

Three key figures in those prior tragedies took their lives in March 2019. Jeremy Richman was the father of a Sandy Hook student who was murdered in the 2012 massacre. His suicide was discovered this past Monday. Just a few days prior, Sydney Aiello and an unnamed Parkland student also killed themselves after having survived that 2018 attack.

 

With more incidents like these occurring, it is likely that suicidal tendencies will begin to emerge within the circles around the victims. It is said that these feelings may be even stronger among teenagers, as their coping skills haven’t fully matured.

 

Phyllis Alongi, a former clinical director at the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide, was interviewed for NBC News, addressing the survivor’s guilt phenomenon and how it can impact young people.

 

“The degree to which survivor’s guilt impacts someone’s life may depend on the level of trauma they were exposed to, as well as any pre-existing vulnerabilities to depression and anxiety they had before the event,” she explained. “The issue with a lot of these teens is their problem solving, perception, and coping skills are still immature and underdeveloped, so they’re already at a disadvantage.”

 

And it is apparent that the survivor’s pain can manifest itself in multiple ways. Addiction is a common occurrence for those who have gone through traumatic incidents. People often turn to drugs and alcohol to “numb pain,” though, in reality, these habits only add fuel to the fire.

 

As more of these stories have gone public, other high-profile survivors have spoken out and offered public support. 37-year-old Zach Cartaya, for example, went through the horrific Columbine shootings in 1999. Since then, he has become an outspoken advocate for survivors’ mental health.

 

Cartaya was quoted for the NBC article as well, explaining how his grief turned to anger and later addiction. Now, he works to connect those in similar situation to outreach centers and suicide prevention resources.

 

“It’s so easy to feel isolated after something like this,” Cartaya told the site. “You don’t have to be alone.”

 

If this sounds like a familiar scenario to you, please reach out and let one of our trained professionals help.

 

The Truth About ‘Smiling Depression’

 

There are certain warning signs that are easy to decipher when diagnosing a person with depression. But others are much more subtle and can be overlooked. In fact a close person in your life may be struggling with severe mental health issues, yet present themselves in a happy or positive way. We feel it is important to bring topics like “smiling depression” to the forefront because it is these cases that can leave people unprepared for severe consequences (such as a surprise suicide, perhaps).

 

The Fix recently covered this topic on their blog page, highlighting just how common it is for a depressed person to put on the facade of happiness. In fact, their research shows that up to 40 percent of people who suffer from depression may not exhibit outward symptoms (such as crying, sadness and the inability to get out of bed).

 

“It can be very hard to spot people suffering from smiling depression,” Science Alert researcher Olivia Remes told the site. “They may seem like they don’t have a reason to be sad—they have a job, an apartment and maybe even children or a partner. They smile when you greet them and can carry pleasant conversations. In short, they put on a mask to the outside world while leading seemingly normal and active lives.”

 

Remes went on to say that there can be other visible symptoms of smiling depression beyond outward unhappiness. Call outs included sudden weight gain, a change in appetite, constant sleepiness and increased withdrawals from social events. So people suffering from this could be quite jovial when they see you, but still change certain behavioral patterns.

 

University of Michigan professor Dr.Michelle B. Riba was also quoted on the site. She actually felt that people who fall under the smiling depression category may not even realize that they themselves have a problem.

 

“Many people will come to their doctor complaining about sleep problems, or headaches, not realizing that it’s a mood disorder because they don’t have low mood,” she explained. “Not all symptoms of depression always occur at once.”

 

Eventually though, the dark feelings do catch up to you and that’s where a condition like this could really get serious. How many times have we heard about seemingly “happy” people taking their own lives? If you ask us, it is always important to check in with those close to you and lend support if you suspect that smiling depression may be lurking underneath an upbeat smile.